Sink or Swim – The Marriage Debate

I’ve been spending the night checking out the different blogs on the block… I can’t help but notice how many (insanely) young women are already married or expecting! I love their blogs on their new lives, and every baby blog (or pregnant woman for that matter), gets my maternal instincts all in a twist! I feel the up most amount of respect for these women! Marriage at a young age is very scary to me (as romantic and beautiful as it is). In fact, I always believed myself to be a young bride. I felt I knew the responsibility that is marriage and could grasp how difficult it could sometimes be as well. The truth is, the more I thought I knew – the more I realized that I really knew nothing. The more married couples I meet the more I wonder how charmed their lives really are. Now, this is not an attack by any means – as all relationships are different and cannot be generalized, but are you all really that happy? Now newlyweds and our ladies out there who are expecting do not count – I can only imagine the sunshine you are walking on right now! There is nothing more beautiful in this world than an expecting momma or a girl with the flush of love on her face!

I understand the point that you win in the end with marriage – I see it in my own relationship. In the two years I have now been with Vlad, our relationship has only gotten better, easier and more fulfilling. Things we had difficulty with in the beginning have seemed to melt away. It’s like we are finally getting each other ;). I consider myself to have a beyond unbelievable relationship – the stuff fairy tales are made of, I truly do. Even ours is tough sometimes though, and it makes me really wonder how other people do it! I know people who are married, or getting married and their relationships seem to pale in comparison to mine (seriously not meant to pass judgement, or come off as cocky). These are people I have known for years, and have given advice in times of need. People who have hidden cheating from their lovers, or the fact that they are not sure that they are marrying “the one”. Maybe it’s just the people I know, or maybe I should shut my eyes a little more to avoid seeing what many are blinded by. I know, because I was very blinded in my first relationship. I would let things happen that degraded my friends and myself. Now that I recognize it when I see it, I refuse to let it happen again.

Now Montreal plays a big factor in all of this aswell! For those of you who live here or who have ever visited, you may have noticed the hot girl to average guy ratio…. 189,000 ladies to 1 fella 😉 So, as a result of numerous gorgeous girls to choose from (many who are quite sexually liberal here), guys in general have the pick of the litter. Montreal is a party city… nightlife, restaurants, supperclubs, stripclubs, etc… The ladies are daring, beautiful and out to get theirs! Now, this does not make it easy for the commited ladies out there who (if they are super lucky) have snatched up a good catch ;). Generally, it is very hard here for a girl to meet someone who will treat them with respect and like a lady. Sometimes the Quebecois traditions arn’t exactly helpful with impressing girls looking to commit (splitting or (girls) picking up the tab of beers for the first date… ugh). The truth is, guys get away without having to impress a woman here. They do not generally dress up to go out, or have to behave like a man in front of her. Why? Cause the majority of the ladies just flat out don’t expect it :(.

All this to say: I hope all of you ladies out there do and always will have the dream marriage you always pictured, and that you loving couples who are honest and true to each other breed lots of honest little babies 😉 Fight the fight, and let nothing come between your love. Montreal has bred the fighter in me, and you better believe I’m in it for the long haul 🙂

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Coffee Shopper

Ola! Today I am writing from Second Cup cafe on Monkland – across the street from chez moi. I needed a bit of a change of scenery. There has been quite a bit on my mind this week. For one, my boyfriend and I got in quite a tiff, and although the smoke has cleared it still feels like it’s essence is lingering around me. As a true born Gemini (yes – we ARE trouble) my mind is clouded and running at a million miles a minute. No such thing as peace of mind here (not unless I have been tranquilized with lavender aromatherapy of sorts). So, here is what is on my mind:

• Job in my field! Although I am enjoying my current employment as “Leasing Agent” for luxury apartments, my heart lies in fashion! I love that I am doing the interior design for the new units as well – it is truly awesome, but my end goal is to work with a fashion magazine publication here in Montreal. I am a Montreal girl – my heart, soul and love support are all here… no such thing as moving away from my friends and family. Just not an option, even though New York city is magazine central!

• Boyfriend girlfriend drama… well I won’t get into too many details, but I find relationships sooo hard (especially moving on from past relationships). How do people have the courage to repeatedly open their hearts to new people without comparing everything about them to the past? I love my boyfriend to shreds, but sometimes I find it very hard to relate to him. This always is a head breaker!

• It’s fashion week! Here in Montreal our finest display their great talent all week on the runways of the Bonsecours Market in the Old Port. I have just not had the same urge to attend as previous seasons! I will be attending the Marie St-Pierre show tonight at 9pm, and am excited about that… but the weather seems to imitate my icy mood of the moment and I don’t even want to think about trekking across half the city to attend a fifteen minute show :(. This is not like me, but Canadian winters I guess have a way of teaching you some things about yourself.

http://www.mariestpierre.com/

• My Ex. I am not someone who dwells on the past, however I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that my ex is getting married. At 23! I don’t know, this just seems to be an impossibility to me. So young, so weird that we dated. Weird weird weird. I am very happy for the both of them (and that is not just something I am saying to appear like the un-jealous girlfriend – I really do mean it), it really just blows my mind.

• The future. What does it behold? I know you can never determine what you will do or who you will become, but somehow I feel wildly out of control and suffocatingly restrained. I want to travel, love, live, feel, touch and taste everything in my sight. I feel impatient and almost like things can’t happen fast enough. This is the itch of youth I assume. The idea that there is never enough time to adventure into life. I want children, but am afraid of a routine that would kill my freedom. I want a husband but am afraid of being taken advantage of over time and not even realizing it – feeling trapped. I sometimes think I would be just as happy to be a travelling gypsy or a beach bum selling shell necklaces from my hammock – but no, that would be the easy way out. I am scared I will die without enhancing or enriching anybody else’s life in a massive way. Some days I ooze wisdom, today I stink of fear and insecurities.

Today I am fragile, emotional, and as you can see nothing is broken but it still feels like it needs to fixed.

On a happy note, I am counting down the days till June 3rd – Billy Joel & Elton John are coming to Montreal on their world tour and yours truly has tickets!!! This is my past wrapped up in a concert – I never thought I would see my idol Elton live… and now one of my dreams will be realized! Just hope I won’t be globetrotting in Romania, Paris or South Africa by that point (I will be there this summer). Then again, I love how unscripted my life really is 😉 Now there is something to smile about!

Shopaholic?

So tell me ladies, has the recession sent you into a fashion shock? Here in Montreal is most definitely not as bad as in the States right now – so sometimes it can be hard to relate. What have you traded for financial piece of mind during these hard times? Your usual Starbucks latte? Those Manolo’s you croon over every season? What about cutting down on restaurants?

Although the media makes it seem like all these cutbacks are hurting our lifestyles, don’t you think they may actually be enhancing them? Think about it. When was the last time you just stayed home and really relaxed? Enjoyed all the previous items you’ve bought in the past and indulged in a spa night? Had a beautifully home cooked meal with your significant other? Cuddled with your dog or cat? Read a book for that matter?!

The media has been so great at brainwashing all of us into consuming everything we come across that maybe we have forgotten what it’s really like to LIVE. Spending time, not moments with people we love instead of collecting an assortment of “items”. Yes they are beautiful and give you a little spring in your step, but at the end of the day they really aren’t anything more than glamorous marketing schemes whisking us away.

Stop. Smell the roses. Take this amazing opportunity to rediscover who you are and what you like that has absolutely no association to money. The problem with our society now is that we have gotten too used to the “keeping up with the Joneses” lifestyle. Accumulating things to make us look and feel shinier. The truth is though, we can’t afford it! We run in circles trying to get promotions and credit cards, loans and mortgages that never seem to end and that only land a ton of weight on our shoulders. Stress! I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that where stress lives, disease breeds. Try to cut down. Maybe we all don’t need cable television, the latest cell phone, or the largest house. From the famous mouth of Notorious B.I.G. – “The more money we come across, the more problems we see”. Take it as some very wise advice.

Indulge every once and a while, but take on a European way of life – live. Things will only ever be things. Health, happiness and love is what you should be striving towards.