My Thoughts Exactly… Ownership and other rant worthy topics…

I want to know something… can someone please enlighten me? What makes people think they have the effing power over you to dictate to you what you can and can’t do with your own life?!? What makes them seem to think that their opinion is any better or more valid than yours? I have noticed this many a time in my little life experiences… so why is it that people try so hard to move into your personal space and grab hold of the controllers?

Being a young woman in this big bad world, people are naturally very protective of me. This is great cause I know how much people really care for me, however it ALWAYS ends up becoming an overly possessive issue where I feel like I am losing my voice I think it is great that I get feedback from others before I do something – it allows me to weigh it’s worth. Sometimes though, all I really just want to do is fall flat on my face and experience it myself. I would one thousand times prefer to try something and it fail than to have never of took the leap myself and experienced every part of it.

What bothers me, is that what always starts as a concern ends as a fight to defend your own lifestyle choices. To do what you would have done instinctively if another had not interfered (for better or worse).

One thing I have never ever understood is why companies will search for job candidates on facebook. Check them out before they are hired, regardless of their qualifications. How the hell is it any of their business what you do in your private life – be it cross dressing, partying, or family functions??? Please don’t give me the lame ass excuse that they want employees that will represent their company properly… c’mon?!?! So dumb!!! Wether the guy has a foot fetish or not does not change his performance at work… stop trying to invade people’s personal space and turn us all into lifeless autobots! It`s our little preferences and passions that make us who we are.

Another pet peeve… people who say dumb, negative things for absolutely no greater good. People… if you don’t have nothin’ good to say – DON`T SAY NOTHIN`!!! Keep your mouth shut and the universe will reward you with not labelling you as a douche!

All this to say… let me live my golden life the way I WANT to please I think I have good enough judgement to understand and evaluate what is good for myself. And if I don`t… well it`s about time I learn for myself.

Merci, thank you!

Dearest Hater…

So here is a comment I received in response to my last blog post…

Anonymous said…

“You should consider yourself ridiculously lucky that you even have the option of thinking of going to a spa while you are in a developing world where children do not have the option to even see a doctor. Talk about needs. Your coach booties could probably comfortably feed a family for one month possilby more. My suggestion? Quit complaining and realize that you are not there for yourself but are there for those that need your help. Or else get the fuck out and quit blogging like you care about anything else but a free trip. But don’t worry, I’ll still be reading your trainwreck of a blog. It is ridiculously entertaining.”

Now I don’t usually waste my time on Haters, but this comment seemed amusing enough to address…

First up… I DO consider myself to be EXTREMELY priviledged in this life I lead. I never take it or anything around it for granted. So you all know (as I realize this may not always be clear) everything I have, I have worked for. My clothes, my lifestyle, my freedoms. So please knock off the whole judging me as a spoiled brat princess who gets everything handed to her shit. It’s really getting pretty old. I do what I can for those who are in need to the best of my ability. Same goes for back home, and in life in general. Yes, I am human and I DO bitch. When I am jetlagged, tired, on the rag and feeling sick I am not at my best. Does that take away from my efforts of helping pass 600 people a day and giving them eyesight? Does that make me have to live my life in modesty when I can experience and enjoy things that others can’t? I would think of myself as MORE of a fool if I didn’t take advantage of everything my life has to offer. It would be a life half lived. A life wasted. A life someone else could have lived to the fullest. As for the spa… I’m a girl… tell me… really what do you expect? You obviously have never been… I think you too would change your mind about “allowing yourself” to fantasize about them when you were feeling under the weather if you just tried it out already I never once mentioned it being my priority… just something I can’t wait to do when I get home. This is a FASHION blog, not a humanitarian organization. I shouldn’t even technically be blogging about any of this as it has no relation whatsoever to the content I keep. I WANT to share this. It is IMPORTANT to me despite what you may think. The hours are long and it is hard work, I never said I wanted out! Before you ASSUME it was a free trip, you should know that I paid to be here. Every meal, every night stay, every taxi, every flight, even the training. So don’t come up here on my little corner of the internet and tell me that I have my priorities mixed up and I don’t give an eff about anything other than myself. You who hides behind the computer screen criticizing my efforts under the name Anonymous. If you are involved in your own things, I commend you. If you aren’t, I commend you – I am not one to judge. To each their own. One word of advice… next time you decide to trash my wall, at least have the courage to voice your opinions with your name and face behind them. You might even consider transforming all that pent up negative energy you save to dish out on my blog into some positive love vibes to spread around. God knows with people like you in the world we need it.

As for calling my blog a trainwreck… well that’s just in bad taste… I sincerely hope you continue to follow my blog and be ridiculously entertained by it forever more… oh, and for future reference, I really don’t have time to constantly justify my shit… so if you or anyone else tries this again your comment will just get a big fat delete in the face. Enjoy!

MUCHOS BISOUS DE PERU!

514 Outfit Post – Friends of Enemies

Gots some things on ma mind…

What has been going on in my head lately? A whole lot of wondering concerning the entire nature of the human race. The psychology behind why people do what they do and why. Lately, as well as many times in the past I come head to head with having to make the tough decision of who I flush and who I keep in my life. The hardest part is figuring out who to keep and who to let go of.

There are some people (if we are lucky enough to know them) who would take bullets on our behalf. There are others who front like they would but when it comes down to judgement day they bail on your ass. The problem is, you can never really be sure which person is gonna do what. I mean, think about it. We all have best friends that have let us down, and enemies that have helped us out… how the hell are we supposed to pick up the warning signs when we’ve finally let our guards down and opened up to trusting someone? What’s up with all these “frenemies”?!?

Must we all live in a paranoid state and close our true personalities and feelings off to the world simply because others misuse and abuse them? Because other people do not hold your beleifs and truths to be as sacred to them as their own? Because somehow crushing yours has no relation to them and theirs? The sickening part, is that a larger few than I would like to admit of the worlds population actually get a rush out of bringing you down. WTF people… I thought we were all in this together! Have you not HEARD of Mr. Marley??? Fucking apply his heartfelt meditations to your sorry ass lives and make them worth fucking living!!!

My mother used to constantly preach to me while growing up “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. And you know what? It paid off. I do. Absolutely. I give my friends my time, my loyalty, my trust and every ounce of my personality. I share with them my passions, my loves, my fears, desires and insights. So why is it that I constantly see this repitition in my life of people who reciprocate but eventually do something major to let me down?

Intentional or not, I always end up feeling a little bit like the owner of a battered heart when yet another friend bites the dust. Am I too unrealistic? I mean, we ARE only human… we all falter (and god knows I do too)… I feel like I have to get back up on the horse and keep riding alone. Like life will always be like this for me. Will I be standing alone in the end with only a broken heart? I mean when your friends are your enemies and your enemies your friends, how do you know YOU haven’t let the right people down???

My heart is becoming a strong muscle through life’s trials and tribulations, and I know that it is only a sign of health… no need to worry. In fact, friendship in many ways is a comparable to a very deep love. A love that binds you without the need for sexuality. I do not regret falling in love with every person I meet. With their differences, their lives, experiences and personalities. I never want to be closed off to love of any kind… or getting to know a genuine person. I just wish that sometimes love was not tied to war… that the feelings of positivity that take over you can cause so much hurt in their own right. It takes time to heal. Some scars never fade in the futures you hold with others… they merely leave barricades that can never be brought back down.

All to say… people! Please be careful with each other’s hearts. As strong and central as they may be, they are still very delicate parts of our being. I know I have not always been as careful and regret the pain caused by my own actions. I have paid for it, maybe not nearly enough… but all I know is that guilt and sorrow can take a hold of you like nothing else can.

Alright… ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Let’s get back into the groove!!! Gemini multiple personality switch… NOW!

Don’t know why, but I am TOTALLY digging my chipped nailpolish with this look. Obviously, the white trash hoe in me needed to be unleashed

So comfy!

So tired! Babe snapped these shots and went ape with the camera long after my starbucks wore off… phew!

In my “New York” state of mind…

What I’m Wearing

• Bellz graphic tee
• Bebe crochet chain vest
• old Parasuco jeans (loves ‘em)
• Michael Kors belt
• Coach purse
• Coach bootie sandals
• Thomas Sabo charm necklace
• John Hardy bamboo hoop earrings
• Gucci watch
• Aldo accessories ring
• MAC lippie in Angel

This post is dedicated to my Babe. Dare I say the only one who has never let me down and continues to be open, honest and accepting of all the shattered peices of a girl I can be at times. I love you. Truly. Thank you.

Love you all… thank you ALWAYS for droppin’ by the online 514!

Freeflowin’ Fashionista

I am feeling rather melancholic today… some days just bring back old memories and torment you with thoughts of “what if” and why, why, why… As a Gemini (yes I consider astrology my religion… I DO stereotype everyone I meet by their sign… and so far it has never failed me) my mind naturally runs free into sometimes dangerous liaisons… and the fact that it is only amplified today is not helping. Some of the thoughts free falling through my being…

Today the emotion of thankfulness and the inspiration of beauty was completely dominant in my mind. Thinking of the joy I get out of writing, how ecstatic I become when I see a beautifully crafted item of clothing… the euphoria of seeing something that is perfectly pieced together. Where the minor details make all the difference and the colors, prints and aesthetic blend seamlessly into one. When it fits like it was made for you… a second skin. The feeling that it is not just a shoe, it is part of your every day existence – your personality, your inner expression. Who you are. Fashion to me is not about the designers (although they ARE skilled at combining all the above and usually hit the nail pretty directly on the head), it is about the feeling you get from wearing any particular item. When you feel truly like yourself – insecurities aside.

The fact that I can only TRY to collect my thoughts and feelings of this superficial love and put them into insufficient words… well… even the attempt means everything to me. The pulse of passion and expression that runs hot through me that could never be fully understood by another.

The beauty of perspective.

My favorite Louboutin tale… as told by the master himself…

“One very chic Parisian woman told me that she was followed along the street by a very distinguished gentleman one day. When he caught up with her he asked politely about the beautiful red soles on her very elegant black court shoes. She explained that it was a Christian Louboutin signature design and he complimented her taste and then asked her out to dinner. She told me that she gets huge attention all the time because of the flash of red as she gets in and out of her car in the city. She compares it to ladies years ago dropping their handkerchiefs or wearing hearts on their sleeves to let men know they were available. Maybe it’s an animal thing, but the red seems to really attract male attention“.

-Christian Louboutin-

Quote taken from The Goddess Guide by the lovely Gisele Scanlon

Also did a post for the

Under the Sheets – Shhh blog…

check out why I’m Batty for Booties here

My thoughts exactly…